10 Things Your Kids and Grandkids WILL Want to Know About You
They may be absorbed in their own little world of toys and playmates right now but years from now, as they brush with maturity, your kids are going to be interested in the life you have led. They will want to know how your upbringing and the stories therein compare to theirs. They will want a closer look at the real you. As they discover themselves and their abilities they will begin to look closer to home for the answers. These are some of the main questions you are likely to be asked.
1. Where were you born? The US is a nation of diverse cultures and peoples from all over the world. Your kids are going to want to know where their roots lie. Are they part Irish, part German? Its interesting to know where you came from and if you still have family there. It gives your kids a sense of identity and the information needed to start researching their family tree.
2. What were you like as a kid? Your kids want to look into the window of your childhood. They want to see how your childhood compares to theirs. By discovering how you were as a child, teenager and young adult they can get a better understanding of who you are today and perhaps who they are.
3. Where did you live growing up? They will want to know where you lived and how you lived. Were you born in the US or did you come from another country as an immigrant? Share with them the details of your childhood home, the neighborhood, the room you had as a child and what your backyard was like. Its sure to be quite different to what they have been used to.
4. What were your parents like? Where did your parents take you and how was your relationship with them? What they know about your parents, so far, has been dictated by the roles they have i.e. Grandma or Grandpa. Let them see a different side to their grandparents through your stories of your life with them.
5. Did you go on many dates? Not only will they get a sense of how strict your parents were with you concerning dating but it will give them an idea of how it was done when you were younger. Cultural and social differences can be quite intriguing from generation to generation.
6. What were your hobbies/passions/pastimes? Depending on where you lived growing up your hobbies as a youngster may be wildly different to what your kids do today. You might even spark their interest in trying something new to them perhaps something you were good at as a youngster.
7. Where and how did you meet my dad? What your kids really want to hear is a fairytale love story and if this fits your experience then all the better. For most of us, however, this is not quite the reality. You will be able to judge for yourself what is appropriate to tell them and still give them a good story.
8. How did you choose my name? Normally when we pick a name for a baby its because we just loved the name or we are naming the child after someone we love and respect. Your kids will want to know who picked their name and why so they can establish pride in their own identity.
9. What was I like as a baby/child/teenager etc? Its OK to tell them the good and the bad things about themselves growing up as long as there is a healthy measure of both. Some of your stories of them growing up will surprise them especially those very early memories they are unlikely to remember themselves.
10. What would you do differently with your life looking back? No child wants to see their parents unhappy and full of regret but at the same time they will be interested in your dreams and whether they were fulfilled. Share with them your dreams and how these perhaps changed as you grew older.
There are probably many more questions they are likely to ask. Writing an Autobiography is the one of the best ways to capture these stories in a more permanent way. It will give you something solid to present to your family.
What is an Autobiography & why should I write one?
An Autobiography is quite simply a historical record of a persons life; the thoughts, feelings, events, people and places of an individuals past in detail. Its your very unique and personal contribution to your Familys History and on a greater scale your contribution to the history of the world we live in. There are many reasons to write an Autobiography/Personal History. The main reason should be because you want to. Perhaps to share the experiences of your life with others; as a gift for your family; a desire to write; to try and understand your life and the forces that have shaped you; to gain a new insight into yourself; so that you are not forgotten or simply to have a story to go with those dozens of old photos you have kept in a box for years.
Even Oprah has said I urge you to pursue preserving your personal history to allow your children and grandchildren to know who you were as a child and what your hopes and dreams were.
Whats interesting about my life?
Many people wonder who would be interested in reading their Life Story. Quite simply, youre Family. They love to hear these stories because it allows them to peer into a place in time in your life which they don't know. Your time in history is different to theirs. The younger members of your family don't know what you were like as a kid, teenager, young adult, etc. They just know you as parent or grandparent. Some of them don't imagine you were anything else but the age you are now. So when you share stories of your life with them they begin to realize that you were a kid too; you made mistakes, had fun, got into trouble with your parents, etc. They feel like they can relate to you better, they feel like they know you better and this brings you closer together as a family.
How do I begin to write my Life Story?
The task of starting such a project may also be daunting for some. You don't have to be a great writer to write your Autobiography. Your words written naturally are more important. In fact your words in your handwriting are more precious to your loved ones than any printed document. They will really feel like they have a piece of you forever. It is, however, advisable to structure your writing into Life Stages; Childhood, Teenage Years, marriage, etc but you can start at whichever life stage is most comfortable for you. There are no set rules.
What if I have forgotten?
Many people also feel like they have forgotten the details of their childhood. Not so, they are still in there and just need a gentle push to the surface. Try looking through old photos and memorabilia you may have kept over the years. Take some quite time to reflect.
How long will it take to complete?
An Autobiography should never be rushed or run to a schedule. This is your project, you set the time scale. While Im sure your loved ones are eager to get a glimpse of the real you don't be pressured into finishing quickly, you don't want to miss out important parts of your story.
And Finally....
Writing and sharing the stories of your life should be a positive experience, so enjoy it. Have fun reliving those old memories. Laugh at the funny ones, cry at the sad ones but most of all dont ever let yourself forget them again.
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Copywriting's Free First Step - The Home-Based Writer's Guide
Whether you have a full-time job or spend much of your time raising your children, theres no doubt that a little extra cash can come in handy. There are many freelance and part-time opportunities that can prove to be fruitful. On the other hand, many of those opportunities may seem enticing, but ultimately provide little money. If youve ever had a passion for the written word, whether it be college courses in journalism, a collection of short stories in your journal, or a daily blog you like to update, then you can bypass many of the part-time offers and head straight to the top. Dabbling in freelance copywriting is one of the most effective ways to earn extra cash and you get to indulge your passion for writing at the same time!
Whats involved with being a freelance copywriting? Lets break it down. Copywriting means literally writing copy. This generally means marketing copy, but can touch on a variety of areas, including ghostwriting, technical writing, and press releases.
As for the freelancer part, freelancing is both a blessing and a curse. As a freelancer, you have the freedom to pick and choose projects as you please, control your schedule, and control your rates. Of course, the other side of that is that you must search for work. However, if youre only looking for a part-time situation that earns you extra money, freelancing is a smart way to go.
Now heres the secret why is freelance copywriting so lucrative? Think of the many part-time work-at-home opportunities you hear about. Most likely, its telemarketing or some other task that only pays $15 - $20 an hour, if that. With copywriting, you can start at $50 per hour and no one will wince.
Now do you understand why writers have a big advantage in the world of work-at-home business? Just one project could pay for an entire weeks groceries while on big project can pay a weekend getaway. Arent you glad you took all those writing classes in college now?
Of course, the question remains: how does one learn what works and what doesnt work in copywriting? After all, you cant jump into the copywriting pool without knowing your stuff, regardless of how good your writing skills are. The best way to learn is from example. Guess what? Examples are everywhere around you!
Think of every brochure youve looked at. Think of every billboard or magazine ad youve seen. Think of all of those websites you visit everyday. Chances are, theres been a time when youve read the writing on those items and thought, I could do better! There are so many mistakes on there!
This is your free classroom. You can learn what works and what doesnt work in freelance copywriting simply by taking in the world around you. Be mindful of what grabs you and what doesnt grab you with brochures, sales letters, direct mail, ad copy, and website writing. Youll soon notice a pattern of what is good and what is bad. Heres a hint selling with honest facts beats hype hands down every time. Little spices such as clever humor and fancy wordplay never hurt either, as long as they fit the situation.
By noticing that the world around you can teach you the beginning lessons of freelance copywriting, youve already taken the first steps to a lucrative new side career. Best of all, this classroom is free. All you need to do is to take the time to notice and learn from everything you see and read. Once you begin to see the patterns of success, youre on your way to launching your freelance copywriting journey.
For more about the next steps in a freelance copywriting career, including finding clients and building a portfolio, download Make Money Writing!, available at http://www.makemoneywriting.biz, by freelance copywriter Mike Chen.
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Violence
Flashes of memory stream into my consciousness. They take me back thirty years plus. I was a boy then, a newcomer to a poor and tough neighborhood. My parents, of moderate means and daring to a fault, had decided to move there after my father had accepted an editing job in the federal government. They had taken a lease on a low-rent brick house, which was also run-down, covered in filth, and littered with trash. I do not mince my words: Previous tenants had been pigs that got along with bugs and rats.
The house has potential, my mother had said to reassure me, seeing that I was aghast at its sordid aspects. Its one redeeming feature, besides its solid construction, was a large woody front yard, neglected, allowed to become a large dumping ground, as weedy as it was woody, but potentially attractive and pleasant, to be sure.
My mother was a hard worker with a great deal of stamina, creativity, and tastefulness. She mastered the art of doing wonders with little money. After three months of intense labor which for the first week involved a carpenter and two garbage collectors plus two dump trucks the house was transfigured, quite presentable, even nice, much to my amazement. It now contrasted sharply, cuttingly, with the slums at the rear of the house and on the left of it. On the right was a school and at the front, across the street, was a nunnery on a large piece of land. My parents had conveniently focused their attention on these establishments, as if the good education and good disposition of their teachers and sisters could shield us from the evils of the slums.
Needless to say, they did not. Violence was rampant in this neck of the woods and I was elected punchbag with only one dissenting vote: mine! At the root of this violence was malevolence, which grows from resentment, after one has been subjected to mistreatment. As much as my family projected an image of distinction, the neighborhood boys were malevolent and violent toward me. To them this image of distinction was an act of humiliation; their feelings were hurt and it was natural for them to hurt me. Of course it is a lot worthier to elevate oneself than to abase someone else. It is also a lot harder, and nature spontaneously levels everything the easy way. Moral excellence relates to culture, is an acquired trait, by virtue of which a human is courageous and just, worthy of praise.
One winter evening, I was crossing the field next to the rink where I had played hockey, when a gang of hoodlums encircled me like a pack of wolves. There were six of them, one of whom a weakling who always relied on others to feel powerful lived three doors down, east of my house, across the back street. The leader stepped forward and turned around with a snicker. Hey shithead, come and kiss my ass. I was tempted to kick it, not kiss it. No thanks. Please let me go; I dont care for trouble. As I was finishing my sentence, one of the boys lunged toward me from behind and shoved me forward. I dropped my hockey equipment and braced myself to fight and suffer. I was big for my age, but big is small when outnumbered by six to one.
Again the leader took the initiative; the fight was on. With several thrusts, punches, and kicks, I repelled my assailants momentarily, until I was knocked and wrestled to the ground. Fists and feet hit me everywhere, nonstop, from all directions. Suddenly I heard a menacing shout and everyone slipped in a last blow before fleeing. A brave and kind man had caught sight of their misdeed and chosen to intervene, armed with a hockey stick. I was hurt but saved.
A few days later, still aching all over, I saw the weakling, alone by his house his hovel to be exact, which was covered with old imitation brick, torn in places, and infested with cockroaches, rats, and woodworms. His face was bruised and wet from weeping, as he screamed with rage, Fucking bastard, fucking bitch, fucking life, fuck, fuck, fuck! My anger was now tempered with compassion. I unclenched my fists, prompted by a desire to spare him. I could not demean myself to add pain to his pain, already so excessive that it overflowed in streams of tears and curses.
His father was an illiterate and idle drunkard who collected welfare and spent considerable time and money at the tavern. At home, slouching in an armchair, he forever watched TV and drank beer or liquor. When grossly intoxicated, he sometimes vomited before reaching the bathroom and, without cleaning up his mess, fell unconscious on his bed, the armchair, the floor, or wherever. He was also vulgar and brutal. He often battered his son and his wife, and heaped insults on them.
His wife was an abusive and sluggish woman who had grown obese from attempting to fill her inner void with chips, cookies, and pop. Day after day she wore the same tattered nightgown and constantly found reasons for bawling out her son and swiping him. She drove him insane, then used this insanity as another reason for persecuting him.
These two loathsome and pitiful parents rendered his life at home unbearable. He usually roamed the streets with fellow-sufferers from similar miserable and violent backgrounds. Together they ganged up and took their resentment out on other kids such as me. My aggressors, first, were victims.
My insight into the origin of violence came to me at that time and has never left me. I saw then and still see a victim in every aggressor. Some say there is such a thing as gratuitous violence, committed by individuals whose youth was favorable to all appearances. Violence for the sake of violence, an exercise in brutality at the expense of others, without provocation, past or present? I beg to differ.
Appearances are not a valid means of assessing someones youth, whose favorableness or unfavorableness is a subjective, not objective, matter. Circumstances have no value in themselves, but in relation to people who consider them favorably or not. Attitude is here the only relevant concept. Also, brutality cannot be exercised at the expense of others unless these others are viewed heartlessly as expendable. This heartlessness is greatly suspicious, unlikely to belong to someone who regards humans with favor, thanks to a feeling of solidarity, of mutual benefit.
In my opinion, aggressiveness is triggered by hostility, without which it is dormant: a mere potentiality incapable of harm. It may include an abnormal sensitivity or intellect that intensifies or alters someones perception of the environment. The fact remains hostility, as perceived by someone who feels painfully antagonized and proportionally victimized, is always a factor. Therefore, aggression cannot be dissociated from victimization, not only that of the victims but also that of the aggressors. These aggressors are victims of their sick minds or of the ill treatment they have endured. They deserve compassion, besides indignation.
They are liable to a punishment that ought to be effective and exemplary, not vengeful. Vengeance and violence are one and the same thing. Both are resentful and harmful. Both are reprehensible. The harm inflicted does not remedy the harm suffered; it simply compounds one harm with another, and invites yet another harm. It lengthens the chain of savagery from x (a frightening number of savage links) to x+1, potentially +2, +3, +4, etc., instead of breaking it and helping to free humanity from it. There is no worse slavery than savagery. The best course is to make every effort to get over a wrong and forgive it, while bringing the wrongdoer to justice.
In sum, justice should not serve to avenge people. It should serve to prevent crime and protect the public, by intimidating or incarcerating those who are a menace to others except under threat or behind bars. It should never push the severity of this mandate to the point of cruelty, in which case it would be a perversion of justice, an ominous sign of barbarity. On the contrary, it should be a jewel in the crown of civilization and foreshadow the coming of a better humanity, more consistent with its true nature and purpose in a word, more humane.
The difference between severity and cruelty is radical yet subtle; it must be emphasized. Cruel law enforcers delight in the punishments they inflict and readily overstep the mark. They are vicious and blameworthy, like the criminals they punish. Law enforcers who are severe, but not cruel, administer punishments reluctantly or regard them as a necessary evil they would gladly forgo if they could. They deplore the criminal element in society and strive to neutralize it through intimidation, or incarceration as a last resort, and preferably through reformation, a fundamental change of the criminal mind for the better. Their ideal, as unattainable as it is elevated, is the supremacy of justice without the institution of justice: no threats, no prisons, only people who deeply understand and freely exercise the principle of justice.
Impossible as this supremacy is, it is usefully pursued. The institution of justice can become less and less necessary for the manifestation of justice, which can become more and more customary. This progress depends on the wisdom and willpower of its proponents who make it their duty to educate, assist, and encourage potential followers. It also presupposes that these potential followers take an active part in this endeavor. They cannot be actual followers unless they welcome this education, assistance, and encouragement, and display intelligence and determination of their own.
How much can we collectively be civilized that is, mutually respectful and helpful, in the knowledge that this high goal can unite our wills toward a common good of colossal proportions? In other words, what is the ceiling of our possible civilization, which implies responsibility and solidarity, an elevation of life to love? Nobody knows the limit, so none should be set but the sky!
Generally, in a loving environment, human beings show humanity as naturally as fruit trees give fruit in the summer. Love is to these beings as sunshine is to these trees. It helps them grow into what they are meant to grow into (unless their nature is flawed from the start, which is an exception to the rule): beautiful and bountiful creations, as opposed to ugly and puny aberrations. Yet, beware of love; it can be possessive and manipulative, selfish and devilish! Yes, some angels have horns, unnoticeable at first sight under their pretty hair; their paradise is hell.
True love is in the image of God* (by God I simply mean the fundamental cause of everything. It brings us into existence and, within the limits of its might, supports us in our quest for fulfillment). It is a desire to nurture, not to capture. Under its divine rule, one always has the others best interests at heart. No one, however, should be supportive to the point of being an accomplice in someones oppressive or destructive acts of egocentricity, folly, or injustice. These evils should not be loved and served; they should be hated and combated.
Hate is legitimate toward them, whereas the people who embody them are worthy of love because they exceed them by their ability to do good. They are indeed greater than the sum of their evil ways; they include the power to improve them. Therefore hate is directed at these ways, and love at this power: It promotes the peoples ability to do good. What if a person who is oppressively or destructively egocentric, foolish, or unjust never responds to this love? In that case it is lost and the life of this person shamefully amounts to a waste of soul.
By a stroke of luck, my parents were bright and warm people who helped me blossom into a joyful and respectful individual. Their love was true and so was the love of many others who took part in my life. I was also lucky enough to be a good seed. I was a strong and healthy boy, extremely lively and moderately clever, cheery and gentle-natured, though impatient and self-assertive. In my eyes, until my family moved to the poor and tough neighborhood, civility was the norm among the members of society; it made sense. Barbarity, on the other hand, was a stupefying rarity. The abused weakling gave me an understanding of barbarity which was common in this neighborhood and replaced my stupefaction with commiseration.
* God, in the Genesis, is first and foremost the creative and ruling force of the universe. As such, it is unspecific and uncontroversial. People of different philosophical or religious persuasions recognize with one accord that the universe is as it is because it has the power to be so. This power can be called God, in the unspecific sense of the word. It provides a legitimate answer to the ultimate question, which is twofold: Why is there a universe instead of nothing, on the one hand, and why is there order in it instead of chaos, on the other hand? Essentially, it is a cause that accounts for the existence and the nature of everything, while its presence remains totally unaccountable. There is no point in trying to elucidate this mystery since, to this end, one would need to postulate another cause that would itself be unaccountable, and so on ad infinitum. Consequently, the cause that gives the universe the power to exist and evolve, according to laws, is best described as a prime and timeless cause that can be ascertained through its manifestation in the form of changing things and beings, but never explained.
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